Never give up... never surrender!

The last full day I was at college was 24th October.  Half term is only a week, but the way it has fallen I've had twelve clear days.    I've worked on my studies on every day bar one, I think.  I have done hours upon hours of studying including researching and writing an essay, writing up two lab reports, doing a titration and several microscope drawings, practicing my calculations for an assessed practical this week, memorising notecards for a timed essay, rehearsing the timed essay and re-filing and categorising all my notes so far.  And rewriting my UCAS personal statement, and having an interview for my voluntary job at the hospital, and reading ahead for the next topic.  Phew!

I am finally, FINALLY finished, at almost 10pm the night before I go back.  And to think this is meant to be a holiday... I dread to think what Christmas will be like as I have exams looming in January.

And yet, I feel quite positive and upbeat.  I've had some time to relax, I've seen friends and family, I've started reading with Amber again and I've been running every other day.  I feel strong.

I finally faced up to my fears this weekend.

I said the words out loud: What if I fail?  What if I don't get the grades?

I realised I could always re-sit the whole year; it would show perseverance and determination, and next year would be so much easier.  I'd be more confident, I wouldn't have to spend so much time on the basic stuff, I could focus on mastering the bits I've found difficult.  There's no reason why I can't do that, if I have to.  It'd involve swallowing some pride, but surely that's better than going back to a dead end job.  And anyway, the Course Team leader has already told me he thinks I'll get the grades.  I can't do any more than I am already doing.  If it's not enough, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

And what if I don't get past the interview?  What if the admissions tutors don't like me?  Then what?

Then I get another year of volunteering and reading research papers and preparing.  I approach more hospitals for experience, visit more universities, travel further afield.  I learn more about dietetics.  I rewrite my personal statement a few more hundred times and submit it at the first possible opportunity.  And if that doesn't work?  I go abroad and study at a foreign university.  Nothing is impossible.